California Dreaming
I knew it was going to be a wild ride of a trip the closer my departure date got. My intuition and dream states were increasing.
I am a big believer in time being like the ripples of a pond. Everything done in the past ripples to our present and future. Everything in the present ripples to the past and future. Everything in the future ripples to our present and past. I could feel the ripples of what I was about the experience.
In the Toronto airport my right shoulder was aching from my heavy bag and as I walked towards a large potted plant I suddenly remembered my earth qigong. I got curious if I could ask the plant to ground my pain. It seemed simple and obvious to ask- so I did. The plant obliged and I placed my hand on its large leaf for a few seconds. The pain dissipated and was gone for several hours. Do I need to know how or why it worked? No. Does it need to be magic? Maybe! Could it be placebo? Sure! What mattered was I listened to this tickle of intuition and I experienced results that helped me.
The 9 days I spent in Northern California has fundamentally shifted and solidified my intuitive knowing. The humans I shared space with expanded my heart to such an extent- I hope I am never the same!
The practice itself, the teachers- Gilles Marin, Jak Noble, Tiffany Fyans, David H, David S, showed me the path I have been looking for, walking towards for a long time.
On my first day of massage school they went around the class and asked who we were and what our goals were with massage therapy. “Hi I am Samantha, today is my 28th birthday and I plan on using massage therapy as a base to grow an energy work practice.”
This year I turn 36. Eight years since that morning that I drove to my first day of school, crying, because it felt like the first day of the rest of my life.
Did I want to come home, remove everything else from my website and dedicate myself wholly to Chi Nei Tsang? You bet I did. I laid in my bed and allowed the slippy almost dream state of sleep show me the way that I can fully dedicate myself to the life I want and the healing practice I want to have and the way I can serve my community- including those who cannot afford to access these kinds of treatments. I will be patient and allow that to unfold.
As for the actual retreat it was filled with love, joy, playfulness, sadness, anger, freedom and the thrilling embrace of the Yuba River. I could write for days about the people, the experiences. But none of these words would capture the richness of what I experienced.
The best I can do is use what I learned on the table with my clients. My hands heat up now. All of my classmates commented on it. It was a curious side effect to learning how to channel the chi through myself effectively. I was leaving warm hand prints and feet prints everywhere I stood.
Oh how to encapsulate this experience. The knowing I felt, the confirmation from the teachers around me. From Gilles. Every time he offered insight and then replied “YES” when I was able to put it into practice has given me steady feet in this world. Jak’s breakfast pep talk where he acknowledged what he saw in me. My heart.
The best and most honest way I can share what happened in California isn’t a blog post. It is my daily sunning, the care I am taking with my body, its the early bed times. But most importantly the most effective way I can share what I learned is with YOU.
Let me teach you about Chi Nei Tsang, Tao Touch, Sunning, Dream Commands and how to outgrow ourselves- which is what all of our pain is showing us.
As Gilles said over and over all week “ symptoms are a healthy reaction to an unhealthy situation”. Lets learn how to change our chemistry, change our conditions, listen to the abstract symbolism of our body & our dreams and learn to outgrow ourselves so we can continue to mature and enjoy life. Not because we are good, not because we deserve it but because we are alive. We are alive- lets enjoy our time here!
I love you all, for reading this, for being You,
Thank You.